Social Reconnaissance
One of my favorite things about coaching is watching clients develop in front of me-when I can see them stretching themselves to grow, even when (especially when) it is difficult and uncomfortable. There is something extra special that accompanies the youth of my younger clients. They embody an innocence and developmental need to naturally question anything an older person suggests and work to voice a difference of opinion .) Watching my clients find their voice is also high on the favorites list. They also call me out when I’m clearly dating myself. I keep this population (and always will) because they keep me hip. (They have urged me to stop saying “hip” as they think it directly goes against my efforts to stay hip).
Recently, I was working with a high school student who changed schools mid-year. Talk about a huge change to navigate. This was a change he wanted-worked for-but when time got closer to actually make the change, fear set in. The reality of how large the change was going to be and all of the details accompanying it were looming. When we debriefed his first week, developing a new social circle was the subject of unrest. Figuring out who to eat lunch with was insurmountable.
When we approached how he could work on making new friends and getting out of his comfort zone to meet his social goals, he wanted to approach it in manageable steps. For him, it was most comfortable to commit to the first step being observing other students for the upcoming week to determine who to approach. We decided “social reconnaissance” would be step one. Yet one more word a young client added to my vocabulary. Hip. Very hip.
Here’s to you, my friend, for walking hard, rocking some major change, stretching yourself continually, coining the term “social reconnaissance”, and making me smile week after week.
Ways to combat the zone of comfort:
Define your comfort zone and get out of it. Change doesn’t happen where we are currently living. Nothing changes if we stay where we are. Take some time to think about what your comfort zone is comprised of and get out of it.
Think about why getting out of your comfort zone is good for you. Think of the benefits of shaking it up. Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it. Believe you are worth those benefits, because you are.
Eat the elephant one bite at a time. While jumping off a cliff into deep water may be completely overwhelming, try taking one step at a time. Enough metaphors? Decide what is manageable to get out of your comfort zone today-and act. Tomorrow-do it again. Before you know it, you are further and further
Acountability-Get you an account-a-bili-a-buddy. It’s so much easier to step out of your zone with a piece of it with you. This may surprise you, but I hate networking. I love meeting new people, taking new clients, and learning about pretty much every human being on the planet. Networking, however, makes me want to puke. Beyond uncomfortable. One of my besties feels the same way. We know we need to do it, so we go to functions together. Just knowing she is in the room with me gets me through the door and the event. I’ve committed to her so I won’t back out, I’m comfortable enough to be myself, but also growing outside my zone. Big love to my buddy.